giving up the tree

a few years ago,

i gave up on the tree.

if i were to grade 

my christmas tree 

based on the elements of good design,

it would get a solid "D".

maybe a "D+", 

but still, it *for sure* wouldn't "pass".

 as a newlywed, i found great pleasure in 

looking at my perfectly decorated christmas tree.

it made me sigh and swoon.

it made me happy to look at.

but then, 

slowly, 

macaroni-noodle stars and pipe cleaner

snowmen started sneaking onto my perfectly coordinated, 

symmetrical and sophisticated tree. 

at first, i admit, it was a little hard.

as an interior designer, it was a little

like having someone stick a neon blue and yellow

lava lamp into the subdued and elegant room

i had just completed.

but then, 

slowly,

i realized that the christmas tree

isn't about me, and my perfectly coordinated 

ribbons and symmetrically-placed ornaments and 

sophisticated color-scheme. 

it's become about our family.

and so, i let the kids pile on the 

 the pom-pom santa claus and popsicle-stick reindeer.

because now, looking at the tree makes them happy.

and that makes me happy.

besides all of the "crafty" kids ornaments, our tree

also has dozens of picture frame ornaments.

each one is filled with a picture of our family,

some from the last year or two,

and others from four or five years ago.

but all of the pictures bring back a great memory.

yes, even the one of little g-man crying.

and so, even though our tree isn't elegant 

or sophisticated or coordinated,

it's perfect for us.